I just don’t understand why it’s so god damn hard for me to be happy. I thought I was happy, I really did. Everything was going so good. I finished high school early, I’ve been working at my career. I’ve been doing so well. I met this guy, who’s amazing. He really is. He puts all his time and effort into this relationship to make it work. We have a lot of obstacles but we get past them. He’s one of a kind, really. He’s so good to me. And I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m not good enough. In fact, I know I’m not good enough for him. But I try, and that’s what counts…right? But then you come back into my life out of nowhere. I thought that contacting you and wanting to catch up with you would give me the closure that I’ve needed for this past year, but it’s only fucking me up more. I haven’t slept in 4 days because of you. Because I can’t get you off my mind. You shouldn’t be in my head. I shouldn’t be thinking about you, but I am. I try so hard to forget about you, but I just can’t do it. This is stupid because I never vent on tumblr like this, but I have nobody to talk to about it. I can never explain how I actually feel. I’m a terrible person. I’ve fucked up my life so much. I seriously have. I cant. I just, don’t know what to do anymore.